Navigating Dark Times with a Courageous Heart
In difficult times it becomes especially important to remember compassion, and to actively cultivate it in our hearts. This will increase our sense of calm and kindness, as well as bring courage to our heart and our actions.
We cultivate compassion by practicing it as often as we can.
How to practice compassion: 3 steps
1. Pay attention to others. Simply shift your attention from yourself to others. “Others” doesn’t just mean thinking of those whose suffering we hear about in the news. We also need to think of those close to us, in our own home, school, or work environment. For some reason, we tend to forget they also need our compassion.
2. Pay great attention. This means that we start to pay more careful attention to the presence of others and to what their feelings or experiences might be at any given moment. At this point, we are trying to be as attentive to the suffering of others as we usually are to our suffering. Ordinarily, we have no trouble thinking about our own suffering, with all its painful details. But here we need to apply that same level of detail when we think of the sufferings of others.
3. Don’t waste time – act! But don’t act before you have practiced Steps 1 and 2. Don’t go straight to Step 3. Because sometimes we get so inspired, and so startled, by the pain and suffering and disasters of the world that we just jump to a conclusion: “This is what we need to do!” And quite often when we do that, it doesn’t help.
We usually think compassion means we have to do something. But before we can act skillfully, we need to see what is right in each situation. There are times when “not doing” can be the most compassionate action – for example, not engaging in conflict, or in actions that increase aggression. So, if we refrain from behavior that intensifies divisiveness, that “not doing” itself is compassionate conduct.
How to make your compassion practice a great habit
Before we resolve to practice compassion every day, it’s good to set ourselves up for success. We can plan a time when we can do it as a regular part of our day. And we can imagine just how we will practice. Here’s a way to get started:
– Sit quietly and let your breath relax. Let your spine straighten gently, then relax a bit more. Let your mind be at ease.
– Ask yourself, “To start my day practicing Steps 1 and 2, what is the best time and place for me to do it? While drinking my morning tea or coffee? First thing when I wake up in the morning? While riding the bus to work?” Imagine yourself at that time and place, doing these steps. For example, you are sipping your coffee while shifting attention to others, to their feelings and possible experiences.
– Plan how you will remember to do Steps 1 and 2, in the way you have imagined it. For example, you could set a timer on your watch or smartphone, or tape a note to your coffee mug or your backpack. Be creative! The best practice is the one you feel good about doing.
– Plan to focus your compassion practice each day, on one or a group of others you are aware of. Imagine you are considering their situation in some detail. For example, you could be asking yourself:
How might they be feeling now?
What might their day’s activities look like?
What might they be worried about?
What might they need or wish for?
– Now imagine you are planning Step 3. Here you could be asking, “What action can I take to help reduce their suffering? (Consider both short-term and long-term actions you could take.)
– Imagine now that you are planning how to take this action, and choosing a specific day and time to do it. Consider how you might take that action, what that would look like, and how you would feel having acted on your inspiration.
– See yourself reviewing your compassion practice at the end of the day, asking, “How did it go?” Imagine making an aspiration for the next day.
Enjoy your courageous heart of compassion!